Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Not Fun

On Monday I spent all day until Company rehearsal in bed, skipping my Theory class. I went to sleep at midnight. I somehow woke myself up at 5am and was unable to go back to sleep.
So Tuesday morning I got up, showered, got ready for the day 3 hours earlier than planned. I went to my Gender class, where I realized I had forgotten to do the assignment from over break [interview family members and write a paper about the gendered breakdown of household work, no late papers accepted]. Went to my Science class and learned about glaciers. Had lunch.
I got back to my room around 1pm and figured I'd take a nap until dinnertime.
I woke up at around 11pm, went back to sleep around 1am, and didn't wake up until now [8pm on Wednesday].
So that means I missed my Modern class and am in the middle of missing a DS [campus group I dance with] rehearsal. That means that I've spent the past 32 hours in bed, and it's not like I'm going to get up now and do anything.

I'm doing the depressed thing again, and it sucks. This is exactly how I felt in highschool when I supposedly had it. But back then, the class I was doing poorly in got easier, so I got better grades and my parents got off my ass; we started rehearsing for the Spring recital in dance class, so I liked going better; and I yelled at the douchebag psychiatrist who prescribed pills on the first day he met me.
It was later determined that it was 'situational depression' as opposed to 'clinical depression'. Uh, duh.
The big differences here are that my classes that I dislike and don't want to do work in aren't going to end with the semester, there's not going to be a change in dance until never, and I don't have anyone to yell at. It's still 'situational' but it doesn't seem like the 'situations' are going anywhere. So it's time to stifle until I can fake it until I can make it through the day not sleeping through the day.
This saddo stuff is really boring, so let's hope I bash it down soon.

6 comments:

thisdayandage said...

aw sjovs, I know things have been kind of meh lately, but things will work out. and I know you're confused about things right now, but you'll figure everything out at some point, I know you will. I was thinking maybe lunch tomorrow at 12:30? textame. love you.

Anonymous said...

JJ
(ok its to the point I do that because it tickles me)
I don't know anything about depression but could it be linked to your last post?
You will beat the depression I'm sure of that.
I hope it gets better for you sooner rather than later.
good luck.

Osbasso said...

Bash away!

JerseySjov said...

TA: yes, lunch today. odds are you'll see this before 12:30 anyway, but i'll text you regardless.

sage: uh, duh i'm depressed because of the stuff in the last post. i'm no stranger to the fact that life has ups and downs, but i'm such a pessimist at heart it's hard to let the opportunity to be irritable pass.

osbasso: bashed.

Roland Hulme said...

Awww. I'm sorry you're blue. I remember going through a whole term at college feeling like that.

I can't think of any advice. In the end, I only got out of my funk when my 9 roommates all bought BB guns and if you were in bed past 10am, you were 'fair game.'

We ran around shooting each other for the next year of school. I still have marks to prove it. But ideally this means I have developed the shooting skills needed if I'm ever in a Bruce willis/Die Hard type situation (with BB guns.)

Shandra said...

That BB guns story is redic hahaha, you get funny comments really.

Ah sleep schedules, I went through this last year. I remember the first time I stayed up late it was for that stupid Global class by professor Peet (why can't I think of the name? anyway we were all in it remember?)

And I was like omg it's 3 am?! I was shocked. Boy how innocent was I back then.

Then I started staying up until 4, 5 etc and sometimes for no reason, with the result that I stated to skip morning classes or sleep through them it was really bad.
It's really hard but the best thing is to force yourself to sleep for 8 hours. Think about when you want to get up, go to bed 8 hours prior to that, and do not get out! Do not turn off alarm clock!

Sounds sooo easy, I wish I could do it so easily too. But really in the end it’s so much better for your skin and eyes too; really beauty sleep is a necessity.

Apologies for the length.