My Daddy picked me up from school at around 2 on Tuesday afternoon. Here is a compilation of the wack things he has said since then:
"You know what's a cool animal? Alpacas. They're like llamas but they look like they're always smiling about something."
"Shit! We need to get a goddamn pie!"
"I'm tired. No, wait. Remember I said I was going to stop saying that I was tired? I'm more...worn down. I'm all kinds of worn down."
"You guys are lucky; I never got toppings on pizza when I was a kid. I didn't know that toppings existed until college!"
"Remember when I called you in September?"
"When you're a year old a year is 100% of your life, but when you're 50 a year is one-fiftieth of your life."
"*45 minutes explaining technical details of a particular a/c unit* That's your tech talk today. It's really neat, though, because *45 more minutes of technical details*"
"My year goes like this: January and February I have to shovel snow, March is my birthday, April is trout season, May the kids come home, June gets hot, July and August is bass season, September is back to school, November, December you got Thanksgiving and Christmas. And that's the year."
"What do you mean you already got a pie? Well, shit. We'll just have two pies then."
"I always say that college is like a pizza: It's in 8 slices and it goes by too fast. So enjoy it."
"Who is this supposed to be? Jay Leno? Is this Jay Leno? Is this supposed to be Jay Leno? What show is this?"
"Haha, check it out: the GPS changes to a black background because it knows it's dark out!"
"Woah, guess I passed out on the couch there. Guess I was tired after all."
Thus far 1 of my Pros and 3 of my Cons have happened.
Oh and it's Thursday, so Happy Thanksgiving!
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10 comments:
Haha this was hilarious. Ilove dads! Wait, that sounded a bit dirty. I meant to say Dads are the best.
Your dad is way more interesting than mine. My dad complains about my exorbitant storage needs and says I can just put everything onto 2387492837 DVDs instead of ONE external. Luddite!
Dad's rock, even when they're being hokey (and I'm not just saying that because I am one).
Here's an alternate saying to one of your Dad's.
Sex is like pizza -- when it's good, it's Great, and when it's bad
..it's still pretty good.
lol@ your dad!
haha that just totally made me literally LOL. Oh, daddys!
your dad and his antics always make me laugh. always.
...but did he clear a woman's lungs of asthma after laying his hands on her chest, like mine did? nah, I didn't think so.
Your pops is dropping wisdom in that obscure fatherly way.
I don't think I'd be as bad as your dad . . . but I'd probably launch one or two bombs!
Glad I don't practice ageism . . .
That's like... sitcom material!
dg: can't live with dad can't live without dads
tf: my dad is convinced that our neighbors are stealing our wireless even though it barely reaches our whole house. old men + technology = big laughs
hex: haha i've heard that one before!
sage: (:
j: you should see how hard my bro and i try to keep from laughing at him
ta: no, but he prob had an a/c unit that would have filtered the air and helped her asthma
mnwhr: he tries, but it gets hard to wade through the crazy sometimes
kilter: oh im sure you've had one or two crazy things come out of your mouth
so: ill use him as material for my novel i guess
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