Yesterday/today Roommate found out that I slept with a guy that I shouldn't have. And I mean I really shouldn't have because Roommate was involved with him at the time, but he and I assured each other that we knew how to keep a secret and that it was just going to be a one-time thing. I didn't do it out of malice, and I didn't take pleasure from keeping the secret; there were weeks at a time when I didn't even think about it or remember it.
Before yesterday, it was a secret. Actually, no, he told A and D, I'm not sure when. That's how she found out- somehow she got it in her head that something had happened between us and started asking around. Obviously he and I lied, but A and/or D did not.
She texted me a couple times last night saying 'Did you fuck him yes or no' and 'You're a whore,' and today IMs me to bitch at me about not telling her/lying when she asked/not being apologetic.
Well, I didn't tell her because she'd freak out over something as small as two horny teenagers getting it on, I lied because of the same, and I didn't apologize because I don't say 'I'm sorry' unless I mean it. Probably the thing I dislike about the situation the most is how it's going to look like she came out on top, that she's the victim, and I'm nothing and have never been anything but a dirty cock whore who doesn't care about her 'best friend.' If that was the case, then, why wasn't it she that took the incentive to move out and get away from me and my bad influence?
I freely admit that hooking up with a guy Roommate was involved with was not the best idea, but I also admit that I never thought she would find out. We both knew at the time that he and Roommate weren't going to become anything more than a hookup, we were bored, horny, and in the same room as each other. Until earlier today, I assumed that the only people that knew about it were me and the guy, and neither of us were going to say anything.
Now I'm going to have to contend with her spreading more shit about me than usual to...everyone.
She says it's not important why she started sniffing around for info about me and this guy. This is just another example of the distrust and enmity that we've been living with since August. I guess I've lost a friend, but they way that I've spoken about and acted towards her shows that she and I were never that great of friends in the first place.
I'm not looking forward to having to deal with people hating on me for a momentary indiscretion, but I guess that's just something you have to learn to deal with when you're more of a sinner than a saint.
To me it was just a meaningless affair. To me it wasn't a big deal. This could be due to my overly-casual view on sex, or to the fact that I've never been with someone who I cared about enough to worry that they would hook up with someone else, or to my building dislike of Roommate, or something else, or a combination of things.
I still don't see what the issue is. At the end of the day, from where I'm standing, I hooked up with a guy that Roommate didn't like several months ago and she finds that more than damning evidence for her pursuit of my unhappiness.
If only I was the type to go tit-for-tat; I know a couple things about her that she would probably not like people knowing.
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7 comments:
i like you more knowing youre a bit of a dirrty sinner. keep it up. ~xoxo
we talked, you know my thoughts. and I hope you know I still love you.
Is Roommate the one that you moved to get away from?
Tell her to go fuck herself. Unless he was her bf or her ex-bf, she doesn't have dibs on him. And since you go to a small school, its hard not to overlap with someone you know because the hot guy selection isn't always as stellar as it should be.
you say dirty cock whore like its a bad thing. hmmmm
Some folks take shit to serious, don't weat it, it appears you aren't.
That's just college. Everybody does everybody.
God, why didn't I go away to college . . . .
igics: i cant help but try
TA: im glad that you still love me :)
jw: yup, I moved out on Roommate and in with Suitemate. also you have no effing idea how ridiculous the overlap thing is here.
sage: i don't sweat it, but i realize that other people sweat it, and their sweat makes me sweat. which is gross.
dr ken: there's always grad school ;) or hey, just go back and start again at undergrad. you'd make a lot of friends considering you're old enough to buy booze, haha
I hooked up with a friend's ex, back when they weren't on talking terms. Now they are. I hope he keeps his mouth shut or im fucked.
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