I'm Too Tired to be Tired

I don't know what's gotten into me, but I seem to have fallen back into my old party habits. It took a lot of effort to put JS the Tank away, and I'd prefer if she stayed away. I feel like I could get myself back into unsavory situations quickly, but at the same time I feel like I need to use my last year in college to the fullest. I've fallen even further away from my study habits, and I just plain don't know how to kick myself in the ass to get my stuff done. I just keep looking ahead and being unsure of what I want to do with myself next year, which makes it hard for me to see an end to what I'm doing now. The real world is looming and I still feel vastly unprepared.
That being said, let me tell you all what I did this weekend.

Friday: I was in a stellar mood all day due to having an hours-long cuddle session with the Blond early in the morning. I skipped my afternoon class to go to the diner with two of the TAs for Intro Soc and then had a really nice nap. That night, the W.A.S.P. offered up his place for A and D's 21st birthday party; it was a very fun affair. People came who I hadn't seen in the longest time (Does anyone remember HA? He was there and we chatted for a while) and everyone got amicably trashed. At one point the cops started lurking so the majority of the unwashed masses got booted out, but those of us who were over 21 and friends with the apartment residents hung out. We smoked up, and this caused a moment of memory darkness for me. When I get twisted I lose my ability to move great distances, so I ended up crashing with the WASP. I'm a little worried that we might have kissed during that time I can't quite remember, but I woke up with my jeans and one of his hoodies on, so I know that nothing serious went down.

Saturday: The Blond texted me at around 11 am saying that he was sorry that he passed out so early the previous night. Since he lives across the street from the WASP and was obviously awake, I decided to just tell him that I had crashed early and hard there just in case he was peeking out his window when I walked by. After napping all day the Dance girls and I went to a party at our collective boyfriend's house. It was not nearly as fun as A and D's birthday, since it was a younger, more athletic crowd. A guy who claims to like me a lot was there, and I somehow got roped into talking to him in his room about why I don't want to date him. This made me very antsy and I basically ran off to the hookah bar with him tailing behind me. [Well speak of the devil; as I typed that he called and texted me. It's 2 in the morning on Monday, what is he thinking?!]
On the walk over I texted the Blond, the new guy from a couple weekends ago, and got a message from a recently-graduated guy friend visiting from Florida. Let's call that last one F because he's important. He and I were pretty close back before he graduated, and he's probably one of the more genuine people I've met. F came over to my apartment and the guy who claims to like me left in a snit. F and I got to talking and the next thing I know we were kissing. We'd made out before and done some of what the old folks call "heavy petting" but had never seriously hooked up. Well, once we got to kissing, we got to touching and the next thing I know we were engaged in some very physical shenanigans. Things were going really well: he felt incredible and was doing things just the way I like them when I got a sudden sharp pain in my stomach.
Unsure of what was going on, I took a bathroom break. When I got back to my room I made an effort to pick things back up but I kept feeling worse and worse, eventually just curling into a ball and telling F he had to leave. I asked him to call me and he said "Maybe." That upsets me a little bit, but he does live really far away now. I was not expecting anything physical to happen between us; I wasn't really expecting him to get in touch with me this weekend. The moral of the story is that I've caught feelings hard and I don't know what to do with myself.

After F left, I rolled around in my bed trying to will the pains away. Every now and then I get stomach cramps if I eat too many delicious things that disagree with me, and they usually ebb in and leave after a couple hours. I should have realized that this was different, since I haven't been eating anything too out of the ordinary lately and because it came upon me so quickly. Three hours after the pain started I couldn't take it anymore and woke up JB to ask if she would drive me to the ER. It was the first time that I've ever been to a hospital without my parents; I actually didn't call them until I was discharged due to reasoning that it would be better to call them when I was okay rather than call them when I was in the midst of everything. They seemed to disagree but I stand by my decision, especially considering that when I tried to call them they didn't answer. When no parents picked up I called my Bro and Favorite Cousin who were both ready to pick me up and take care of me, but I just wanted to hear their voices and take a nap on my couch. On a serious note, I really can't express how glad I am that I have friends like JB when my family is far away: despite having the flu and only getting two hours of sleep before I came to get her, she stayed with me for the entire ordeal, keeping our friends updated on what was happening and talking with me. She even called her mother, who lives about 45 minutes away from our apartment, and asked her to bring me chicken noodle soup and crackers to make me feel better.

Eight hours, two ultrasounds, one cat scan, 2ccs of morphine, one IV, two blood withdrawls, and countless pokes to my belly I got to leave with a scrip for Oxycodone and the knowledge that I had a hemorrhagic ovarian cyst [one Dr said that it was the largest ovarian cyst he'd ever seen, which I'm perversely proud about] that ruptured, getting blood all around my liver and other inside bits, possibly creating torsion that corrected itself. Not the best time in the world. I'm still feeling a little abdominal discomfort and have to set up a followup appointment with the campus clinic for as soon as possible, but I'm remaining generally positive about it. My roommates are being awesome for me, asking if I need anything and offering to pick me up anything I need; I always thought I had built an awesome support network and it's really great to know that I have so many wonderful people on my side.