What am I Doing?

I just fucked Freshman Buddy. He left the room probably 15 minutes ago. I don't really know what I was doing. Why am I freaking out about this?

*Morning After Edit*
Last night was the first performance for Dance Group's Spring show. Things went well considering that there was a shit turnout [ha that could be a great pun considering that it's a dance show, but now is not the time for wordplay].
After the show the dancers went out to mingle with the audience in a mash-up of costumes, practicewear, and street clothes. Freshman Buddy gave some of us flowers, which was very sweet. We left to change, eat, check our emails, etc and met up at a centrally-located Freshman dorm. Once we were together ["we" meaning Freshman Buddy, his best friend, the two Dance Group Freshies and myself] we walked over to my old dorm, where a basement-wide party -no RAs in the basement- was going on. Daiquiris, mojitos, and some orange concoction were all but poured down our necks for us. The suite that the stoner boys from the basement live in had a room set up for dancing so we piled in.
Things were getting a little boring when an RA from the first floor stopped by to tell us to shut up and leave. On my way out I called Freshman Buddy [the group had been separated during the night]. He was in his room with the group we had gone out with and a few others smoking. I went over and immediately turned around and left with Freshman Buddy's best friend to get some food. While we ate, we talked about if I should do something that night. He said that if I wanted it and knew I could get it, I should just go for it.

I couldn't really argue with that, so when we returned to the Freshman dorm, I asked Freshman Buddy to walk me back to my room. I brushed my teeth [Dorito breath = not sexy] and pounced on him. We made out, he took my dress and bra off, and I had his shirt off when I made the decision to take the next step. I pulled his pants off and started giving him his first blow job. At one point he started shaking so I took my mouth away and asked if things were too much. He stammered out both yes and no. The shaking stopped after a moment, so I got back to it. He asked if I'd like him to return the favor; I made another decision to take the next step and said, "I'd rather just fuck you." He consented, I grabbed a condom and hopped on. He wanted to be on top, but I told him to just lay back and I'd do the work. Things weren't really progressing since he was having that special kind of whiskey dick where you can still get it up but can't come; I took off the condom and started blowing him again. With some of his hand's help, he came.
This is where I start to freak out. We cuddled for approximately 2 seconds before I pulled myself away, put my underwear back on, and told him that I wanted to sleep alone. I practically dressed him. I sent TA, JB, Pink Ditz and Freshman Buddy's best friend the text "Oh christ i just fd Freshman Buddy" and wrote the first few lines of this post.
I did crossword puzzles online for an hour before I calmed down and could fall asleep.

Know what, though? For a virgin he wasn't bad.