But It's Always Nice to Get Out of Town

Went to a wedding last weekend. Let me list the things that went wrong:

-In June, the groom called up the eM saying "I'm fuckin' done with this bitch; I'm finally going to leave her"
-In August, the groom calls again saying "Hey, can you be a groomsman?"
-In September, we get an invitation with the groom's name spelled wrong
-Later in September, the groom calls yet again: "So my best friend from home can't come; want to be my best man?"
-The eM didn't buy plane tickets until a week before the event, so we got hosed with price and the eM had to take more time off from work than he wanted because flying Thurs-Mon was cheaper than Fri-Sun
-The bride called up a few days before we flew down to say "Will you be able to pay for your tux or, sigh, ugh, are we going to have to make arrangements to do it for you?"
-"Yeah, we're not doing a rehearsal dinner because we're already paying for dinner at the wedding" Because out of town guests only need to eat once a weekend
-Apparently the bride's father and brother have the same name, but she didn't understand how the bridal store mixed up which tux she wanted to cancel. She also didn't appreciate how the store worked to break down their stock to find her father a black jacket, pants, white shirt, and a tie in the right shade of sad orange at the absolute last minute.
-The bride made her bridesmaids alter their dresses at a different place than where they were purchased. She then tried to get the alteration fee back from the store at which they were purchased because "It shouldn't cost $75 to alter a dress so I'm going to see if they'll give me that back for each dress." Strange how she thinks that she deserves all this cash back for something a) she didn't pay for b) she didn't pay for at that place... You don't go to McDonald's then complain to Burger King that your fries were cold.
-Nobody was aware that they were doing a rehearsal until about an hour before it was scheduled to start. The eM got a phone call "Hey you'll be at the church at 5:30, right?" and got attitude from the bride when he asked for directions to the church.
-Her new father-in-law wrote a check TO HER with "House cleaning fee" in the Memo line and left it on the kitchen counter. Later that day, she harassed everyone for "20-30 dollars to cover the cleaning fee"
-The wedding date was one of the bridesmaids wedding anniversaries. She spent her entire anniversary away from her husband in an ugly floor-length orange dress.
-The newlyweds have a 3-year-old son. They forgot about this fact for the weekend so there was a semi-feral child running around at all hours [we came back from the bar at 1am and this kid was still awake, in his clothes from the day, standing on top of the dining room table] with bare-minimum supervision despite the presence of 2 parents, 5 grandparents, and several aunts/uncles.
-At the wedding, the 3-year-old started wrestling with his cousin on the bride's train, then chased each other and the other small children around the reception hall screaming for the rest of the party. Kids will be kids, and that's why kids don't get invited to fancy events. Let's also note the 3-year-old was running while carrying a full glass of sweet tea, because nothing goes together like children, caffeine, sugar, and open containers.
-The wedding dinner [which apparently was supposed to serve as the only "thank you for taking time out of your lives to come here and celebrate with us" gesture of the entire weekend] was a barbeque buffet: chicken, ribs, pulled pork, baked beans [with hunks of floating bacon, natch], and dinner rolls. There was a donated case of barefoot wine, 3 cases of beer that the groom's father bought, and a few gallons of sweet tea. Notice anything missing? Like a vegetable, freakin' WATER, or real alcohol?
-The world's most awkward and creepy dj
-The $7/person dinner leftovers [of which there were a considerable amount] were only available at the guest house for about a day before the bride took them to her aunt [who permanently lives in town].
-The bride and groom let the eM, me, and one of the other guests stay at their home Monday and Tuesday night after our flights were cancelled due to the storm [this was very nice of them; they were leaving town so it really inconvenienced the fewest people to let us stay there]. The house stank of garbage [they hadn't been to the dump in weeks and their garage was wall-to-wall trash] and there were flies everywhere. They had open bowls with moldy food in their fridge, half-full cups all over the house, no toilet paper, no plunger [the eM's friend had an...issue], no towels, and small toys/tripping hazards everywhere.
-From start to finish, the eM and I [99% him since I'm still looking for a job] spent over $2000 from Thursday-Wednesday. From information gathered during our stay, we're guessing the wedding cost half that. Regardless of money, we were stressed all weekend from not having a schedule, harangued for money at every turn, and generally treated like we walked across the street to make it rather than being out of our home for a week to be a part of their special afternoon.

Not really related to this wedding, but I would like to note that I was the only female present over the age of 18 with a college degree and no children.